Wild Wolves
by ggff-fan
Summary: Song fic, based on 'Wild Wolves' by Athlete. A few Chuck/Blair moments in the show I wish had happened. Last chap is my take on Chuck and Blair meeting after S3 finale, I considered making it a oneshot, so please let me know what you think! : x
1. Chapter 1

Wild Wolves

Summary : I just adore this song, 'Wild Wolves' by Athlete, listen to it if you haven't yet, it's absolutely gorgeous. This'll be a (short!) 3 chap fic based on the song about how Chuck and Blair have pulled each other out of ruts. The chapters won't really connect, i'm picking different moments from the show.

This is set after the limo scene in 'Victor, Victrola', because I fail to believe they would just do it and go home. I know it doesn't really fit with what happens in the next epi of the show, but I hope you like it anyway :) lemme know what you think! Also, it's unbeta-ed and although English is my language, no doubt i've made some stupid mistakes, apologies in advance and point them out to me if you want :) Ingrid x

Disclaimer : I don't own Gossip Girl or this song. bad times for me!

* * *

_As a friendly fire  
Wasn't quite enough  
You go and drop this  
Bomb on us_

As they pull through the noisy, lit streets of Manhattan, Chuck and Blair sit together, hands entwined in the back of the limo. There, Blair had found comfort in the least likely of places. Sex with Chuck Bass. She's not sure why she did it and knows as certain as the sun will rise that she will regret it, but for now, she feels safe in the confines of tinted black windows.

Her mind is a whirlwind of thoughts. This didn't feel like Nate, this feels right. It strikes her then that how Chuck had made her feel in one night was more than Nate had done in the eternity they had been dating. Tonight, for just one night, she had captured the attention of a man who was not drawn to the sparkle of her counterpart. Blair knows Nate will always love Serena, it made her bitter, but everyone always loves Serena more. Nate, her mother, even lonely boy worships the ground she walks on (although that's nothing to be thankful for, Blair supposes.) As she lets her head fall onto Chuck's shoulder, she wonders when she had lost her fairytale innocence. Silently, the tears fall.

Chuck feels content, but only for a second as guilt pushes itself to the forefront of his mind, consuming him. Nate was an ass of a boyfriend, but he was the best bestfriend anyone could ask for. Growing up, Chuck had always had the best his father could buy for him, but friends were not something for sale, at least not good ones. Chuck had lucked out with Nate, who may have not been the brightest, and his love for Serena was a problem, but he was loyal and understood Chuck.

Before Chuck can ruin the moment, he feels the warm moisture of her tears soak through his jacket sleeve. Blair's tears. _Typical, she's already regretting this night and crying for Nate_. At that thought, the tears begin to burn. He surprises himself by feeling sad for Blair, he wants to wipe away the tears, he even wants to be the one to save her, screw Nate and his shiny armor. But while Chuck may treat most people like shit, he's loyal to his friends (or just friend) and he knows he owes it to Nate to be the wingman for once.

'Blair..'

'Yes.' She muffles into his sleeve, she refuses to meet his eye and he's glad of it, he doesn't trust himself if he sees her tear-stained face.

Instinctively, he brings an arm up around her shoulder and runs his fingers through his hair.

'What happened with Nate?' There's a pause and he begins to worry he said the wrong thing.

'Serena happened..Serena always happens.' She doesn't mean for it to sound so bitter. But she's had champagne and she feels safe, crying in his arms, she figures now's a good a time as any to break.

Chuck hears the tone in her voice and he can't believe it. He wants to console her to tell her she's better than that, but she didn't answer his question. She knows he already knows about that night.

'I know.' He murmurs quietly and she's put off by this, he doesn't deny that Serena always happens.

'I meant tonight, what happened with Nate tonight?'

'He..I..I asked him if he loved me, and he couldn't answer.' Chuck frowns slightly, it'll take more than a shovel to dig Nate out of this hole. He chooses his words carefully.

'He does love you Blair, he's loved you since forever..he always has and he always will.' Chuck wonders why it is so hard for him to say those words. He puts it down to the fact that he doesn't believe the truth in them.

'Then why can't he tell me? And why did he kiss Serena at the ball?' He can hear the desperation in Blair's voice now, she doesn't want him, that moment had passed. She wants reassurance, she wants safety.

'Wait..he kissed Serena?'

'Well, it was Jenny, but he thought it was Serena, so it counts.' Of course it counts; Blair is the queen of grudges. But she is also Queen B and he won't let her forget that.

'Serena's return took him by surprise, but it's you he wants..it's you he loves.'

'Then why couldn't he say it? It's not like he hasn't said those words before, but when it mattered..he couldn't.'

Chuck doesn't know what to say, he's not good with relationships but even he can tell Nate has made too many mistakes.

'He loves Serena.' She says this sadly and his heart hurts. _Wait what? Chuck Bass does not do feelings._

'Forget Serena.'

'How could I? Serena's everywhere. I can't blame her, it's not her fault she shines brighter than all of us.' Blair sighs in frustration. 'She's the carefree, let loose girl that everyone adores. She has everyone under her thumb without needing a single scheme or takedown – although I do enjoy those. But Serena, it's like she casts a spell on every -'

'She's got nothing on you Blair.' He says this with such sincerity, she stops mid rant.

The limo rolls to a stop outside the Waldorf residence. Blair sits up, feeling cold as she feels the warmth of Chuck's body leave her side and reality kick in.

'You don't mean that Chuck.' She says this with a hint of regret as she opens the limo door. 'Thanks for the ride home.'

And she's gone. Chuck's shocked, he didn't know she feels this way. To him, Blair had always been the one to admire, the only one worthy of his attention, the only one who could match him at the dangerous game of destruction and humiliation played daily in the Upper East Side.

She's one foot in the building when he catches up with her.

'You've always been the brightest star to me.' He places a gentle kiss on her cheek.

And then he's gone, swallowed up by the dark limo that slips into the night.

Blair lets the words sink in and smiles uncertainly to herself. Entering the penthouse, she scraps the planned trip and lure of her porcelain toilet bowl and heads straight for her room.

_The devil stood there  
Drenched in sand  
I'm here to give you a  
Helping hand_

_

* * *

_I have the rest of this planned in my mind, sorta. I'm very new at this so any feedback would be awesome :) x_  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Wild Wolves

Summary : I just adore this song, 'Wild Wolves' by Athlete, listen to it if you haven't yet, it's absolutely gorgeous. This'll be a (short!) 3 chap fic based on the song about how Chuck and Blair have pulled each other out of ruts. The chapters won't really connect, I'm picking different moments from the show.

This is set just after the balcony scene in 'In the Real of Basses', because I wish we'd seen more of them that night. Please review with any comments or thoughts, good or bad, criticism is (almost) as welcome! :) Ingrid x

Disclaimer: Don't own Gossip Girl or this song. I suspect I never will :(

* * *

_Wild Wolves, always stare me out  
I'm not running  
I'm not running away_

Blair stares up at Chuck standing precariously close to the edge of the ledge, swaying in the wind and she swears her heart stops.

'Chuck! Your father wouldn't have wanted this.' Jack startles her out of her trance and she feels her heat beating again..racing even.

'Dear old Dad? Unfortunately all I know is what he didn't want. Which is me. I'm Chuck Bass! ... No one cares.' Chuck wobbles dangerously on the edge and Blair can't take it any longer, there was a time for games in their messed up relationship, but this wasn't it.

'I do. Don't you understand? I'll always be here. I don't want you going anywhere. I couldn't bear it.' She rushes forward, almost shouting now, how could he be so _stupid_ as to not see what he's about to do. She reaches her hand out, urging him to take it, begging him to take it.

'So whatever you want to do to yourself, please don't do it to me. Please.'

Chuck looks down at her outstretched arm and her tiny, pale, perfectly manicured hand calling to him and he stares into her chocolate saucer eyes. He nods uncertainly, reaches down and grabs her hand.

' I'm sorry.' He murmurs, as she pulls him down. 'I'm sorry.' He murmurs into her shoulder. Blair doesn't care, he's off the ledge and for now, that's all that matters.

'It's okay.' She whispers in his ear. Shooting Jack a glare over his shoulder for doing nothing.

'Jack, I think you should leave. You are obviously incapable of keeping an eye on someone.' She says dangerously.

Jack shrugs and turns to leave, the show was over and he wasn't about to stick around listening to his (still alive, may he add) nephew whining about his life.

They stand there for what feels like hours, but could only have been minutes. Chuck with his eyes squeezed shut, clinging to Blair as though his life depended on it, and at that moment, it had. Blair stares out over the city from over his shoulder, he'd always loved rooftops and now she is beginning to understand his affinity, the view is truly breathtaking.

In her arms, Chuck stirs and she can feel him slumping and whilst she is strong mentally, she can't carry his weight and they slide to the floor, backs against the wall. They sit in silence, Chuck's head in her lap, after a while his breathing begins to even out and she can only assume he's fallen asleep. She's about to call for help to carry him down when she feels his body shake and feels his tears soaking through her dress, Chuck Bass was crying. She has no idea what to do, she has unmatched skill for faking emotions, but when it comes to real emotions, she's as scared as he is.

'Chuck..'

'He's gone. I can't believe he's gone.' She's silent as she waits for him to continue.

'I never knew him and he never knew me.' He scoffs weakly. 'So really, I shouldn't be sad.' How twisted logic could be.

'Don't say that Chuck, he was your father. He raised you, he-' She's startled as Chuck shakes his head violently and tears begin to fall again.

'He didn't raise me, _they_ did..the nannies, the teachers . Hell, even Nate was in my childhood more than my own father.' If Blair had suspected bitterness, she was surprised. Her heart broke for the pain in his voice.

'The only thing he did was to shelter and spoil me. Look where that's left me, now he's gone. I have no idea how to live in the real world, Blair. One that doesn't consist of whore's and alcohol.' Blair tries hard not to flinch when he says this, this night isn't about her.

'The real world is what you make of it Chuck, it's your life.' She shifts his head so he's staring up at the sky, head still in her lap. He doesn't seem to hear what she says.

'He hated me all my life..do you know what it's like to be _hated_ by your own father?' It's a rhetorical question and she's glad because she wouldn't have been able to answer it. Her father adores her and whilst her mother seems to displease of things she does, 'hate' was too strong a word.

'I suppose he has a good reason.' And Blair is intrigued because this is news to her. She toys with his hair absentmindedly with one hand whilst the other holds his.

'That can't be true.' Coaxing him to say more, she should feel bad for taking advantage of his state, but she's waited a long time to unravel the mystery of Chuck's past and curiosity overcomes guilt.

Chuck laughs bitterly.

'It is. After all..it was me that killed the love of his life.' Blair decides then that he's drunk and telling untruths.

'You know that's not true Chuck, she died giving-'

'birth. Yes Blair, you think I don't know that? But who did she die giving birth to?' And he begins to cry again, silently. The tears pool in his eyes before they overflow and slide down the sides of his face leaving shiny trails reflecting in the moonlight.

Blair doesn't know what to say. For the first time in her complicated relationship with Chuck she realizes the burden that he's forced upon himself all these years. And her heart aches for him; she feels the tears begin to prickle the back of her eyes, threatening to spill. But she refuses to let them, tonight she is there for Chuck and she has to be the strong one. She cradles his head in her arms and rocks him lightly.

'It wasn't your fault Chuck. It's absolutely ridiculous for you to even think that. In life there are risks and implications in everything. Your parents decided to take the risk and yes, it cost them, but they took the risk Chuck. They took it for you.'

'Then why did my father hate me so much?' His whisper is barely audible and he stares vacantly up at the sky. Blair pauses, unsure of what to say, she doubts Chuck will believe the simple truth, 'he didn't hate you.'

'He loved your mother too much.' She decides. 'But that doesn't mean he hated you Chuck. His love for her consumed his entire being, and when she died, grief took over. It had nothing to do with you. He gave you everything you wanted, he loved from afar.' They sit in silence, Blair deep in thought.

'It's all too easy for love to consume someone, for them to drown in it and lose a part of who they are.' Her voice a mere whisper, she's not even sure if she said it aloud, but he hears. He realizes then, against all his beliefs, that love exists, he believes this because she has told him so and he believes her. He brings her cold hand to his lips and places a gentle kiss on the back.

'Thank you, Blair.'

They drift back into a comfortable silence as she stares over the city and he stares up at the sky. Inevitably, the alcohol catches up with him, his lids droop and he's soon asleep with a vice like grip on her hand. She threads her fingers through his hair and strokes his hand with her thumb, feeling more peaceful than she had in a long time and confident that he would survive..that they would survive.

_And the desert brought  
News from the West  
This could be your biggest test  
Grab your gun and your survival kit  
We're gonna get through the very worst of this_

_

* * *

_

one more verse of the song left :) x_  
_


	3. Chapter 3

Wild Wolves

Summary : I just adore this song, 'Wild Wolves' by Athlete, listen to it if you haven't yet, it's absolutely gorgeous. This'll be a (short!) 3 chap fic based on the song about how Chuck and Blair have pulled each other out of ruts. The chapters won't really connect, I'm picking different moments from the show.

I had to think long and hard about what to do with this chapter because I wanted a situation when Chuck and Blair helped each other, but the show won't give me that because it's all Blair helping Chuck. Damn. So I suppose this is my take on what happened after S3 finale. This is the last chapter, so please review with what you thought of the whole thing :) Thank you for reading! Ingrid x

Disclaimer : Don't own GG or this song.

* * *

_And my soul is a dark place  
But I know your love  
I know your love  
My soul is a dark place_

_There's a figure sitting on the chair next to the hospital bed and he'd know that figure anywhere. He wants to say something, to reach out to her but he can't move, can barely open his eyes. The drugs have that effect on him. He has no choice but to lie and watch, she's bathed in light and looks more perfect than he remembered, he likes that she's his guardian angel in his dreams, looking over him. He watches as a solitary tear slides down her cheek and as she bites her lip to stop herself from sobbing, he frowns, that's not right..angel's don't cry. He tries again to reach his hand out to her, and manages to lift an arm this time, but the effort forces his eyes shut in a wince and when he opens them again, she's gone._

Chuck wakes and immediately looks over to the chair by his bed. He doesn't know what he expects, he only knows what he wants to see, but he's bitterly disappointed by the sight of an empty chair. He's had the same dream every night he's been here, and every night he knows what will happen, he can't console her and she flees. He supposes this is his punishment, for never being there for her, but it's frustrating because he is really trying this time.

He lies in a trance as his friends and official looking people bustle in and out. He still can't move but his head is clearing, he allows them to make idle chatter with him but his responses give so little they start to talk amongst themselves. He's grateful for their being there, he really is, it helps to ease the loneliness, but her absence over shadows their presence. And so he sleeps most of the time, hoping to see her in his dreams.

Blair sits in the waiting room as people go in and out of Chuck's room. She knows she should go see him when he's awake, and not the sleeping form she's taken upon herself to watch over at night. But she stills loves him, and that scares her. She's not stupid, she knows what he's done and how he's treated her and she wants nothing more than to leave and never return, to the hospital, or his life. Nevertheless, she can't. She's drawn to him, and no matter how hard she tries, how far she runs, he's always there. So she wants desperately to leave, but she can't, or won't. What sort of cold bitch leaves a lifelong friend after he's been shot? She gives herself that reason for staying and whilst her talent had always lay in deceiving herself, she knows she doesn't believe it this time.

Chuck wakes from another dream, this time he hadn't bothered trying to reach her, having resigned himself to a lifetime of nightmares replaying his biggest mistake. It's late and dark out, but the moon is as bright as ever and a window of pale light leaves a square on his bed. He turns his head away from the light, and that's when he sees her.

She freezes as he turns to face her and she has no time to flee. At first he think it's a dream but a gasp from her tells him it's real.

'Blair?' His voice is disbelieving.

'Chuck.' She says unsteadily, she's not prepared for this moment and she can tell by the incredulous look on his face that he isn't either.

'You're here.' She nods because there's nothing else to do, she can't deny that she's here.

There's a sort of awkward silence then. He can think of a million things he wants to say to her, but he doesn't know why she's here and he doesn't want to get his hopes up.

'So..how have you been?' And she could kick herself the moment those words left her mouth.

He smiles to himself, he can see her regretting the question and is gives him a little satisfaction that he still has some effect on her.

'I've been better.'

'Yes, well given the recent happenings.' He looks at her, trying to read her. Usually her face relays nothing, but now he can see a number of emotions etched into perfect features, there's just too many for him to distinguish between. Does she mean the shooting? Or what happened before it. He decides if he's going to bring up the latter, he may as well do it now because she sure as hell won't.

'I'm sorry about that.' He whispers. She looks surprised and he knows in an instant she had meant the shooting but he decides to continue. She looks momentarily at a loss for words and its a few moments before she replies.

'I know.'

'If I could take it all back..if I could do it all again, I would have done things very differently.' He's so sincere, yet so naïve, Blair thinks.

'I know.' But she also knows he can't go back, or people would never learn from their mistakes.

'I honestly thought I'd lost you forever.' Blair doesn't know what to say, she doesn't want to let him know that he hasn't lost her. It's cruel, given that he's just been shot, but she wants him to suffer more. She had spent a long time torturing herself over what had gone wrong and she wants him to do the same.

He sighs, he can see she's not giving in that easily.

'Why are you here, Blair?' If she's here to permanently end things, then he wishes she would just do it. She shifts in her seat.

'Lily rang me, she said you'd been shot. I was in Paris, which isn't too far so I thought I'd visit.' She's lying through her teeth, he could have been shot in Mars and she still would have come.

'But why?' He persists. 'I'm sure they told you I was fine, why did you come? And why wait a week, if Paris is so close?'

She realizes then that he doesn't know she watched him sleep, he thinks it's the first time she's seen him and she supposes its better that way. She mulls over words in her mind, but settles on the truth, he would see right through her lies anyway.

'Because I wanted to be sure.' She breathes out and suddenly he's angry. He's frustrated and she's not helping.

'Blair, I can't do the games anymore, look where it's landed me.' She's silent and this annoys him further.

'Fine. You've seen me now, I'm fine. You can go.' He snaps, he wishes desperately he hadn't said that the moment the words left his lips.

Blair looks taken aback, then resolute.

'Fine.' She bites back, 'Have a nice life.' She gathers her bag and gets to her feet and suddenly he's terrified she'll leave.

'Blair.' She continues walking.

'Blair, wait…please.' Her hand is on the doorknob but the desperation in her voice stops her turning it.

'What? What more could you possibly have to say?' She refuses to face him, she's tense as she waits for a reply.

'I was going to ask you to marry me.' His says in a small voice.

'I know Chuck, I know.' She says gently, posture relaxing, she rests her forehead against the cool pane of glass in the door.

'And you would have said yes.' It's not a question, it's a statement and she doesn't feel the need to answer. 'After everything I did to you, you still would have said yes.' He makes her sound like a weakling, but it's true. Even when it doesn't show, she's always weak around him.

'What now, Blair? Would you ever say yes to me again?' He sounds so sad she wants to cry. She's torn, she knows the answer is yes, but she won't let him know that, not yet. But if she says no, then she's lost him because he's tired of the games (and so is she) and he'll stop trying.

'Maybe.' And she's gone.

It's not much, but it gives him a glimmer of hope, and that's all he needs.

_And my soul is a lonely one  
And I'm not alone  
I'm not alone_

_So, Wild Wolves, always stare me out  
I'm not running  
I'm not running_

_

* * *

_C'est fini. It's finished. If you have been reading, I hope you have enjoyed this, and I'd be very grateful if you let me know what you think. Whether I should stick to my day job :) haha. Ingrid x


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